The ultimate exam room stress buster

Asked by Anonymous on our Parent Webinar series.

Does your child get overwhelmed by stress in the days or morning before an exam? If so, I can relate. Any time I had moments of really high stress, when I had to really perform, I would get a sick feeling in my stomach. Whether it was walking into an exam, or the 30 minutes before a big football match, or standing at the starting line of a running race, I would feel overcome with nerves. Not just butterflies in my stomach, but I would feel sick.

The number one technique I learned for overcoming this sense of nervousness, sickness or anxiety was box breathing. It is such a powerful technique that it is taught to the elite of the elite who need to perform in the highest-pressure situations. The Navy SEALs, the most elite branch of the US special forces, go through classes that teach them box breathing. Unlike exams, where all personal risk is imagined, Navy SEALs go into combat situations that are life or death. The Navy SEALs understand that in these situations, people can easily get overwhelmed, and when they do, they change their physiology or the way they use their body. They begin to breathe more shallowly. They hunch their bodies and tighten their muscles, which triggers the release of adrenaline and the fight-or-flight mechanism. In these situations, with changes in breathing, less oxygen reaches the brain, so people think less clearly and with less focus, which means their decision-making and creativity drop. The same happens to elite athletes in high-pressure situations, like a final or when a player needs to take a last-minute shot. Their risk is that the sense of overwhelm changes their breathing and their ability to think clearly. So just like the Navy SEALs, elite athletes are taught box breathing. You can look up YouTube clips of LeBron James before basketball games, practising his box breathing to maintain a sense of calm.

But despite its simplicity, the impact of box breathing is profound:

• It slows your breathing, which lowers your heart rate: Box breathing forces you to slow your breath, which immediately activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the body’s “rest and recover” mode). This reduces heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension.

  
  

• It stimulates the vagus nerve: The vagus nerve is the main pathway of the parasympathetic system. Slow, controlled exhalations — especially the long, even exhale in box breathing — stimulate the vagus nerve. This triggers a physiological cascade which lowers heart rate, decreases cortisol (the stress hormone) and diverts the brain from its fight or flight response.

  
  

So, how does your child do it? Here’s a step-by-step guide. Have a read, then put the book down and go through the 2-minute process and see how you feel:

A 2-Minute Box Breathing Guide (For Instant Calm:

1. Sit comfortably (0:00–0:10)

Sit up straight but relaxed — on a chair, the edge of your bed, or even at your desk. Rest your hands on your legs. Let your shoulders drop.

2. Inhale for 4 seconds (0:10–0:14)

Breathe in slowly through your nose. Silently count to 4. Put your hand on your stomach and feel your lungs filling from the bottom up. I.e., your shoulders should stay still, and your stomach or diaphragm should move outwards.

3. Hold your breath for 4 seconds (0:14–0:18)

Don’t tense up. Just pause. Silently count to 4. This helps stabilise your nervous system.

4. Exhale for 4 seconds (0:18–0:22)

Breathe out gently through your mouth. Silently count to 4. Try to keep the exhale smooth and controlled — this is what activates your body’s calming system.

5. Hold again for 4 seconds (0:22–0:26)

A quiet, still pause before the next inhale. Silently count to 4. This resets your breathing rhythm.

6. Repeat for 4–6 cycles (0:26–2:00)

Each “box” (4 in, 4 hold, 4 out, 4 hold) is one cycle. You’ll feel your heart rate slowing, your shoulders relaxing, and your thoughts calming down.

Box breathing is incredible because it is simple, fast, and can be done anywhere, anytime. If your child ever feels stress building, all they need to do is immediately box breathe. They can box breathe before starting a study session to increase their focus and concentration. Box breathe when they get a question wrong on a practice exam. Most importantly, they can box breathe outside the exam room. In the minutes before your child enters the exam room, they should find a quiet place and sit and box breathe to get immediate calm, focus and confidence. Once they walk into the exam room, find their desk, and lay out their pens in their lucky formation, they should box breathe. If they get stuck in an exam, come across a tricky question or start to worry, they should stop for 60 seconds and box breathe. It will change their entire experience of exams.